Friday, October 06, 2006

Care

Thoughts run through my head
As I lie on my bed
Peace and seep
No where to be found
Tonight

Fear and dread
Mix
Together in my head


Worry
Concern

Too far away to help
What can I do from here?

A child
With childhood
Needs
And
Wants

Scared of a world
She doesn't now

She is alone
She is confused

Feeling unloved
Feeling unwanted

Thrown out by her mother
Rejected by her family
For standing up to the
Bully who beats her



Now placed in 'care'
In a place complete
Alien and alone

But!
I hope tonight
As she lies on that bed
She knows
There is one who
CARES

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Just One More Time

If I had the chance
To speak to you
Just one more time

I would tell you
How much I love you
How I always will

How sorry I am
For the things
I did wrong

How so very much missed
You are
And how empty
I've become

If I could turn back
Time on itself
I would do
So many things
Differently


Then maybe
Just maybe
You'd still be here
With me

Monday, October 02, 2006

Blink

You are infront of me smiling
I am infront of you smiling

We are reflections of eachother
Creating memories
Storing them somewhere in time

I blink, the image is gone
For it was
a memory from yesteryear

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Harsh words vicious tones

Sun has gone
Black velvet has covered

Probing thoughts
Spoken allowed

Harsh words replied
Vicious tones used

Tears then followed
Left in darkness alone

Heart shattered
Does it matter?

No one cares
Who would dare?

A small voice shouts
From the corner of your mind

"You made your bed.
You reap what you sow"

His head is rested
He's fallen asleep

He dreams of what you once dread
When into her arms he once fled

You wish you had the courage
To walk away
But,
Here your kin also lay

Scared of a world
You could command
To be in control
To live your life
To be free

There would be
No more hiding in shadows
Would you dare?
Do you really care?

To be treated this way
You once fought
But now your bones
Are old and taut

Your mind now shattered
A fight you can't win
So once again
You just give in

"I love you", he once uttered
I should of known
Words so easily spoken
are not ever true
For truth stumbles in the throat
When it comes from you.

I was a fool to believe
Those three little words
You whispered to me
so easily deceiving
But never appeasing

You wonder why I question you so
It's because I have seen your heart
And to be truthful, it's far too dark

No love exists
You destroy everything you behold
For once
I wish I had listened to what I was told

A warning to late to heed
Oh how stupid I was indeed.

Tears are flowing
Woo is me
How foolish can one be?

Buzz from the phone


Numbers entered
Phone connects
I hear your voice
what a

B
U

Z
Z

I still get.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Senses



Can I explore

with my hands

with my eyes

with my mouth

with my lips

with my tongue?

Can I use all my senses

Touch, sight, taste, smell and hearing

Thursday, September 28, 2006

last night

Last night,
Or,
Should I say this morning?
I was sitting in the garden
There were no stars to look at
To wonder about them in awe
Just grey clouds moving
Weightless in their forever changing way

The peace
The breeze
The stillness
Was
Beautiful
As
It
Surrounded
Me

Warmed by my thoughts
Longing for you.
But,
I could of stayed there for hours
The peace was interrupted
By a text message on my phone
A
N
N
O
Y
E
D

I opened it up
To find it was from you.
You had been thinking about me too

At the same moment I was thinking of you

It made me laugh
Now I have thoughts of you again
Running thru' my head
Joy in my heart
As it skips a beat
And a smile on my face..

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Aboy and A Girl

(I have to credit this poem to Sian,
my daughter
who has let me post this here)


A boy and a girl,
the best of friends.
From elementary to high school
from beginning to end.


Through all those years
their friendship grew.
They both felt the same,
but neither knew.

Each waking moment
since the day they met.
They both loved each other
sunrise to sunset.

He was all she had
in her terrible life.
He was the one
who kept her from her knife.

She was his angel,
she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves,
she made it all worth while.

Then one day
things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks
were like a very sad song.
He made her jealous
on purpose he tried
When the girl asked,
"Do you love me?"
On purpose he lied.
He played with jelousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
things would never be the same.
His plan was working
but he had no clue
How wrong things would go
the damage he would do.
One night she broke down
feeling very alone.
Just her and her blade,
no one else at home.
She dialed his number
he answered "hello"
She told him she loved him
Then hung up the phone
He raced to her house
just a minute to late
Found her lying in blood
her heart had no rate
Beside her was a note
in it her confession
Her love for this boy
her only obession.
As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried
Grabbed her knife
that night, they both died
She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:

"She loved me so
I never knew
But all this time
I loved her too"

Friday, September 22, 2006

Storm


There is a storm brewing
Black clouds gathering over head
Thunder in my heart
There is a storm brewing
Flashes of light dancing before me
Rampantness of wind clothing me
There is a storm brewing
Miasma present but not seen
Electric energy within me
There is a storm brewing
Mist all aroun me
For, I am
Dawn

Friends No Longer Here

I was staring into nothingness
Out of a rain splashed window
With a heavy burden upon my heart.

With a sigh
I think of
Friends no longer near.

How much I miss them,
All of them so dear.

Then, as two raindrops
Race down the glass
They hold my attention
Until they disappear

Those two rain drops
as fleeting as they were
taught me a lesson.

Friendships come and go
And,
Instead of missing you all
should be grateful you were ever here

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Ten times

I saw you
just before I woke this morning
you said you had been thinking.

You had been reading
the card I sent you.

You told me you had said
ten times
'I love her'
as if it was a surprise to you too.

Then you tell me
the words I long to hear.

When you said those words to me
my heart missed a beat
I was dancing,
even though
I wasn't on my feet

I clung on to my dream
as I didn't want you to go.

I wanted to hear you
say those words
over and over again.

But within a heartbeat
you were gone
and all I have
is the longing
to hear
you
utter those words to me.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Tell me what you think...

Tell me what you think.
Are we going forward,
Or backwards and beginning to
S
I
N
K
?


Are we repeating ourselves
and
going over old ground?
Or are we making new
H
I
S
T
O
R
Y
?


Tell me what you think
For I will let you guide me through this..

Don't you ever leave me

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who completes me

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who makes my soul take flight

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who builds me up when I've been torn down

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who can make me smile when I'm feeling low

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who makes my heart skip a beat when I think of you, of us.

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who gives me my secret smile, the one I wear just for you

Don't you ever leave me
As you are the one who still loves me when I am moody, and, brings sunshine into my life.

Don't you ever leave me
As you simply are my world.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

My Lovers Back

He runs his hands over me.
Searching.
Probing.
Exploring.
Every cavity, crease and contour.

He searches.
Not as
An old lover,
With tired familiar hands.
But,
Like a child
Who has just received
His first gift
Since the
War and following depression
Ended.

He savour's
Every moment.
Not wanting to miss a thing.
Discovering.
Recording.
Storing.
Every touch.
Every sensation.
To memory.

My lovers back

Friday, September 15, 2006

Sound of the wind

I am lying in the bath
It is heaven

I have opened the windows
The blind is closed
The room is in darkness
I put on a single candle
It is creating a subtle yellow glow

As I lie in the warm water with my eyes closed
I can hear the rain falling
I hear the sound of the wind
rustling the leaves on the tree
I can feel the breeze coming through the blind

It was such a calm smoothing moment
when peace
surrounded me

I could of stayed there forever
Just listening to that noise

But,
sadly,
peace never lasts long in this house
and all too soon
the moment was gone.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Shadow of consciousness

I could never picture your face
I had to look at a photo
to see you.

Though you were in my dreams
it was just a feeling,
a shadow of consciousness
that you were there with me
no matter hard I tried
to picture you,
I couldn't.

I have now stopped looking at photos.

I have cleared away
the ones hidden within reaching distance
for when I needed to see you.

I needed time to grieve,
properly.
To grieve over you.
The friendship I have lost
The Closeness that's gone
The melliflous of your voice.

So little time has gone by
since making that decision
But,
I can see you.
I see so many images of you
You even visit me now
in my head
during my dreams.

This time not as
shadow
but
as you.

Childhood


Childhood only happens once
Enjoy while you can
For soon your daughter
Will be a woman
And your son
A man

Friday, September 08, 2006

She Rides Him.

She runs her hands over his chest
Bending forward
she kisses his face
before she mounts him.

Pulling herself on
she sighs with pleasure
It's a while since
she was sat here
sat on top of him.

Carefully she digs her heels
close to his sides.
Movement begins
slowly at first
she rides him
then
faster,
faster,
faster,
breathing deeper.

Hearts are racing
Suddenly

S
i
l
e
n
c
e

as heights are reached
She holds her breath.

The horse clears the fence
She sighs with relief.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Nature


Just as the deciduous tree
is unable to stop
it's mantle of leaves falling.




The harlot is unable to stop
her clothes from sliding off.

Both are reacting to nature.

Train.


There are times,
when on the train back from town,
when I feel I could just stay on there and never get off.
It feels sometimes like my life,
going by so fast,
but,
never getting to the final destination.
I will arrive one day.
That will be the day I find me
and the meaning of my existence.