Broken

I know my life will go on

That I will live with or with out you

But!

It's that I don't just want to get by

I want to live with you by my side

I no longer want to be broken in two

I want to be whole again

Unlock my heart

Why tell me things hard to bear?

This knowledge with me

You do not need to share

To my heart you had the key

But when you unlocked it

You just let me be.

Fairytale

From the beginning

I should of known

The fairytale I was

Living was reality

And

The ending wouldn't be

Happy Ever After

Share

We share a love

that can never

be fulfilled

We share a passion

that has filled

us both

We share the knowledge

that we can

never be

We share the grief

knowing we have to

let each other

go free.

A dog called Joe

Where did our time go?
When grass was green

With you by my side

When all that mattered was each other

You were the best thing
That ever happened to me

I love you so
And you loved me

Where did we go wrong?
Was it when we grew apart?
Or

Was it when you left?

Or when I decided

I couldn't cope
You drove me nuts

But we had good times too

Running in fields
Swimming in streams

Laughing and crying
Dancing in dreams

It all went wrong

That one sad day

I watched you leave
I should of made you stay

Sometimes I wonder

If I never let you go

Would you still be here by my side?
I loved you so

Could it be me?

Who’s smile envelopes your mind?
Who’s hand do you want to grasp?
Who’s lips hold your attention?

Who makes your lips dance with laughter?
Who makes your eyes sparkle?
Who makes your heart race when hearing their voice?

Who do you want to wake up to each morning?
Who do you want to share life’s joys with?
Who do you think of when your mind is wondering?

Who gives you the secret smile your wear?
Who gives you joy to bear the saddest times?
Who gives you hope when you are lost?

Could it be me?

Mummy

My head is throbbing

There is so much work still to be done. Quotes to type, phone calls to make, orders to place. "Mummy" she says tapping me

"mummy"

"Not now darling, I'm busy" I say

never looking up at her

I continue to work

She is still sat next to me

"Mummy" she says again

"Wait" I snap

She presses the keys on the laptop

"Stop" I yell brushing her hand away and deleting the letters

"Mummy" she says again

"What!"

"I love you mummy" she hugs me before skipping off content she has told me

Swan Song

Just as swans pair for life
That's what I vowed the day I married you.

Just as she would mourn her partner leaving

I did too.

Love Hurts

Broken Nose

Fractured Forehead

Brusied

Battered

Hurtful words said.

Police called

Aresst Made

Seperated
I am no longing now livin'

In dread

Dez

Drugs held his life
Everything
Ruined
Your
Kin left because of your
Mood swings
Oblivious
You carried on, growing ever more
Insecure
No one would you trust
Hinder all who offered help
All
Now gone, you are alone.

Finally Found

I have finally
found it
after crying
over a thousand
tears

I have found
peace after pain

I have found release
and no hurt at
the mention of
your name

I have found
the srengh to move on

Most importantly
I have found
I CAN live
without your love

I CAN be
me again.

music

If my heart is the composser
Beating out a tune
Then you must be the
Melody that made my soul sing
For it's you that adds
the music to my life.

I weep alone

I am alone

Not wanting anyone to see
The tears falling from my eyes

The pain in my heart

You have gone

Never to return

I will miss you

I will weep for you

But

I will weep alone

In silence

Wrapped up in my grief.

(Inspired by Terry Irwin the Widow of Steve 'the croc hunter' Irwin in her interview shortly after his death)

Words that cut

As soon as the words are said
He knows it will cause pain
But he repeat the words
Just so she hears them again

Piercing
Twisting
Stabbing

The words enter her heart
Doing damage
That can never be repaired

Crushed
and
Broken
She falls to the floor

She watches him leave
Closing the door.

If and Why

If loving you was wrong
Why did I want you?
If wanting you wasn't right
Why did I desire you?
If desiring caused me pain
Why did I long to see you again?
If seeing each other again meant we feel in love again
Why was our love so wrong?

Self Abuse

My friend committed suicide recently
Everyone was shocked
Everyone was sad
No-one saw through his happy face
No-one saw the mask

Sometimes in her world
Cruel and horrible things
happen.
When it does she need to bleed

Why do you cut yourself you may ask
She doesn't have one answer
There's a million alas,

But I know today
She is ashamed
She will keep her arms hidden away.

No-one will see through her happy face.
No-one will see her mask.


... dedicated to a friend. Stop now please.

Roller Coaster Love

Dedicated To Emz,



As her slumber fades
And morning whispers to her
Its a brand new day
Her first thoughts are of him
And how cruel it is to
Come back into her life
Saying she still means the same to him.

She reasons
If she meant anything to you
You would either go or stay
As coming in and out of her life
Isn't easy to cope with.
When you go she is full of despair
When you are with her
She wonders when you will leave

She doesn't want a roller coaster love affair.

TIME

Behind me the clock's
beating out every second
of my life that's fading away

TICK

TICK

TICK

Just like an expectant father
who is tied to the phone
waiting for that call

I am waiting,
willing the phone to ring


The clock continues to count out
the minutes of my passing life

Love

It only takes one person for you to find love.

I loved him,
As he loved me.

Some people never find love.

Some people find love many times over
and miss it's true meaning.

But
Truly
Having his love just once
Was enough for me.

Aftershave

His aftershave
Still lingers on my clothes
From where we were
Sat so close to each other
Though,
Both within our own comfort zones.

I close my eyes,
Not imaging the man
The scent belongs to
But thinking of you

I breath in

Holding the breath in my chest
just for a few seconds

I breath out
Slowly with a sigh
and a smile dancing
upon my lips.

Suddenly a thought in my head
You never smelt this good!