I miss you......

I miss the sound of your laughter
I miss the way you would look at the drinks I gave you and ask if you'd get drunk
I miss the sound of my phone going off
I miss your messages of love and warmth
I miss the sound of your voice
I miss sitting in the garden on summer evenings with you
I miss visiting you
I miss buying you presents and being able to spoil you
I miss the way you enlightened my life
I miss even having to remind you to take your tablets - though you hated them
I miss the way you make me feel wanted
I miss you because I know you'd understand what I am going thru right now
But
most of all
I miss the way you loved me

Conclusion

Me

This is me.

This is my face.

If you look closely

You may see the blue in my eye

The paleness of my skin

The curl in my hair

But,

That does not

Reveal the true me

For what you are looking at

Is only skin deep

To know me

You need to look at my eyes

Into the window of my soul

The Sands of Time

The sands of time

May be passing by

But

In silent thoughts,

Unguarded memories

I hold you near.

Where time and you

Exist separately.

For here,

You are mine forever.

Turning back the faded memories

To re-live them again

Is the way I keep us alive.

Not worrying about

The sands of time

Broken

I know my life will go on

That I will live with or with out you

But!

It's that I don't just want to get by

I want to live with you by my side

I no longer want to be broken in two

I want to be whole again

Unlock my heart

Why tell me things hard to bear?

This knowledge with me

You do not need to share

To my heart you had the key

But when you unlocked it

You just let me be.

Fairytale

From the beginning

I should of known

The fairytale I was

Living was reality

And

The ending wouldn't be

Happy Ever After

Share

We share a love

that can never

be fulfilled

We share a passion

that has filled

us both

We share the knowledge

that we can

never be

We share the grief

knowing we have to

let each other

go free.

A dog called Joe

Where did our time go?
When grass was green

With you by my side

When all that mattered was each other

You were the best thing
That ever happened to me

I love you so
And you loved me

Where did we go wrong?
Was it when we grew apart?
Or

Was it when you left?

Or when I decided

I couldn't cope
You drove me nuts

But we had good times too

Running in fields
Swimming in streams

Laughing and crying
Dancing in dreams

It all went wrong

That one sad day

I watched you leave
I should of made you stay

Sometimes I wonder

If I never let you go

Would you still be here by my side?
I loved you so

Could it be me?

Who’s smile envelopes your mind?
Who’s hand do you want to grasp?
Who’s lips hold your attention?

Who makes your lips dance with laughter?
Who makes your eyes sparkle?
Who makes your heart race when hearing their voice?

Who do you want to wake up to each morning?
Who do you want to share life’s joys with?
Who do you think of when your mind is wondering?

Who gives you the secret smile your wear?
Who gives you joy to bear the saddest times?
Who gives you hope when you are lost?

Could it be me?

Mummy

My head is throbbing

There is so much work still to be done. Quotes to type, phone calls to make, orders to place. "Mummy" she says tapping me

"mummy"

"Not now darling, I'm busy" I say

never looking up at her

I continue to work

She is still sat next to me

"Mummy" she says again

"Wait" I snap

She presses the keys on the laptop

"Stop" I yell brushing her hand away and deleting the letters

"Mummy" she says again

"What!"

"I love you mummy" she hugs me before skipping off content she has told me

Swan Song

Just as swans pair for life
That's what I vowed the day I married you.

Just as she would mourn her partner leaving

I did too.

Love Hurts

Broken Nose

Fractured Forehead

Brusied

Battered

Hurtful words said.

Police called

Aresst Made

Seperated
I am no longing now livin'

In dread

Dez

Drugs held his life
Everything
Ruined
Your
Kin left because of your
Mood swings
Oblivious
You carried on, growing ever more
Insecure
No one would you trust
Hinder all who offered help
All
Now gone, you are alone.

Finally Found

I have finally
found it
after crying
over a thousand
tears

I have found
peace after pain

I have found release
and no hurt at
the mention of
your name

I have found
the srengh to move on

Most importantly
I have found
I CAN live
without your love

I CAN be
me again.

music

If my heart is the composser
Beating out a tune
Then you must be the
Melody that made my soul sing
For it's you that adds
the music to my life.

I weep alone

I am alone

Not wanting anyone to see
The tears falling from my eyes

The pain in my heart

You have gone

Never to return

I will miss you

I will weep for you

But

I will weep alone

In silence

Wrapped up in my grief.

(Inspired by Terry Irwin the Widow of Steve 'the croc hunter' Irwin in her interview shortly after his death)

Words that cut

As soon as the words are said
He knows it will cause pain
But he repeat the words
Just so she hears them again

Piercing
Twisting
Stabbing

The words enter her heart
Doing damage
That can never be repaired

Crushed
and
Broken
She falls to the floor

She watches him leave
Closing the door.

If and Why

If loving you was wrong
Why did I want you?
If wanting you wasn't right
Why did I desire you?
If desiring caused me pain
Why did I long to see you again?
If seeing each other again meant we feel in love again
Why was our love so wrong?

Self Abuse

My friend committed suicide recently
Everyone was shocked
Everyone was sad
No-one saw through his happy face
No-one saw the mask

Sometimes in her world
Cruel and horrible things
happen.
When it does she need to bleed

Why do you cut yourself you may ask
She doesn't have one answer
There's a million alas,

But I know today
She is ashamed
She will keep her arms hidden away.

No-one will see through her happy face.
No-one will see her mask.


... dedicated to a friend. Stop now please.